Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Another reason to celebrate and a question about the telling

We had another reason to celebrate last week when my husband found out that he made his next rank. It has been a long time coming and I'm very proud of him. He found out Thursday morning so that evening we went out to dinner and then on Sunday we had all of his co-workers over for burgers and dogs and beer. Everyone seemed to have a good time. It was sort of strange to entertain after so many months of near isolation here, but it felt good to have people in our house again.
I'm still feeling pretty good, still no nausea. We can't wait until our next ultrasound appointment on Friday to see how things are going in there. I am happy to be this far along (nine weeks tomorrow) and looking forward to being done with this first trimester because I think getting to that milestone will help me to feel more at ease and more confident in the pregnancy. I have been debating on whether to go ahead and make my big facebook announcement after this next appointment if all goes well or to wait until we're at 12 weeks. I know many people we know are going to be shocked to find out our news. Which brings me to another topic I've been thinking a lot about lately. Do you think it is more difficult to tell infertile friends that you're finally pregnant? I do. We were very good friends with a couple back in Italy and they were never able to have children (though they never pursued ART). When the husband called last week to tell Greg congrats, I told him about our pregnancy. I could sort of hear his voice crack as he said, "that's wonderful. Wow. That is just great news," and then he quickly said his goodbyes. I know that feeling, I've had those same pangs of hurt and jealousy when others have told me about their pregnancies. But, I don't remember feeling that way when my infertile friends found success (only the blissfully ignorant fertiles seem to bother me). I've always felt buoyed by the happy announcements of other infertiles. To me, it has always been reassurance that it can actually happen. But I know everyone doesn't feel that way. There are a few other infertile friends that we haven't told yet and I can't help but wonder how they will react to our news. Any thoughts on this subject?


  1. Congrats to your husband on his promotion! While it hurts to find out friends are pregnant, I like when I find out from them and not from facebook or another mutual friend. It makes it easier when they are kind about it and understand that I might not be jumping up and down over the news.

  2. I have been in the situation many many many times of being the infertile someone has to sit and down and break the news to... I find that finding it out person to person with space for me to go and cry was the most helpful. And when it's prefaced with a "I know this may be hard to hear, and you don't have to respond now if you don't want to..." No public places. And no facebooks, as I didn't feel prepared. Even an email would be better if that is the forum.

    I am sure it will be hard for your infertile friends, but usually them come around and cope as they need to. But it's sad though, I know, and the real sadness is that any one has to go through infertility.

    I have never really been in this position, but I know it must be a hard one. I'd wait until after 12 weeks though, just to be sure. But I am paranoid- cuckoo. :)

  3. Ps- a few of my friends who knew only through facebook anymore, did send me an email to give me a heads up that they would be making a formal announcement, to give me time to prepare. That I did appreciate. Just some hints!

  4. Krista,
    Thank you for your comment on my blog. And thanks for finding me. I was trying to find you from your comment but i couldn't figure out how.(i'm still a little slow at this blogging). I totally agree with you on your blog and the comment you left on that other blog. As far as when to tell, that's a hard decision and i think it's whatever time you decide is best. At first i only told a few close people that i knew would be happy for me regardless of where they are , then i slowly told a few others and then i finally announced it on the blog that i have for my angel babies. I think i agree with the commenter above me about maybe a e-mail or even a FB message letting those certain friend know that the announcement is coming. But all in all I say just follow your feelings. You will know what's best:) I look forward to following your journey as well;)