Mel has a fun little game going on her blog and I joined in. You're supposed to tell something in a comment that is either a big lie or a big truth and readers guess which it is. So, I wrote that I am my husband's third wife. And, that's the honest truth.
What on earth would inspire a woman who had never been married to say "I Do" to a man who had said "I Don't" twice already? Well, he made me laugh. He still does. Every day.
Sometimes, I forget that I'm Greg's third wife, that there were two other women who came before me. That's because he rarely says anything about those marriages and he always makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world.
I've never questioned his devotion to me or our marriage. He has never made me feel like I was being measured against the memory of the first two wives. And he doesn't really speak ill of them. In fact, we were already married before I ever heard him use the word "bitch" in reference to either of those women and that was when he was telling a friend the story of how Wife No. 2 tried to run over him with his own car.
He has also never denied that his own actions, or inaction, as the case may be, played a role in the failure of those marriages. I know from experience that relationships often develop into something you never intended and that's what happened. He married way to young the first time around and the second time around, he married in a rush as he prepared to deploy. It was a hasty decision that he lived to regret.
The prior marriages were never a secret between us, he told me about them on our second date. I remember exactly what I said then, "You've been married twice?" Well, you must not be any good at it."
But I was wrong about that. He is good at being married, at least he's good at being married to me. Sometimes, I'll ask my husband if I'm a good wife and depending on the mood he's in he'll say "you're the best wife I've ever had," and that always makes me laugh.
One year, my father-in-law send us an anniversary card that simply said "Greg, better late than never. Love, Dad." And, I think he's right.
I tend to think that the reason Greg's marriages failed was because he was meant for me. We have a very simple, happy life (other than the sad, complicated IF) and I really couldn't ask for more in a husband. So, I'm happy to be Wife No. 3. The third time is the charm, after all.